Some free-writing

Every once in a while I feel a stir inside and feel like writing down what I feel, sometimes I try to make it poetic, sometimes I just try to make it visual without reusing any adjectives and call it cool. This was just now and since I've been looking for something to throw on here thought it would work. I hate using correct grammar-punctuation-typocorrection in times like this so you'll just have to deal with it. This was triggered while listening to "Oh Comely" by Neutral Milk Hotel, followed by N.U.F.A.M., The Format, James Taylor and then Jason Mraz; it was on shuffle, but it was the Neutral Milk Hotel that sparked it. Lest you think I should be on meds, you might be right, but you'd just be wrong, sorry. It also reflects some recent (temporary) changes in home-life (I'm a loner for the next 2 weeks) and a documentary I just finished watching on Youtube (along with every related youtube video on the subject). Pretty fun to write, actually.

my own world

plugged into the headphones and my musical library of nonsense to everyone else I sit next to the dark outside listening ot the wailing of a lonesome heartsick crooner on nothing but a guitar. My music makes no sense to anyone around me. I hide my favorite songs from everyone around me. I listen to them alone, afraid of what others would think and knowing what others would think and avoiding their condemnation or non understanding is better than finding a friend of song-liking to do nothing but sit in a room on a chillin evening listening to the incredible tear-creating greatness of an emotional epic of 3 minutes and 58 seconds and knowing the other person was struck like i was and thinks the same as me about the melody and is unafraid of the monster inside the lyrics or the fuzz of the intellionally left static. Though i pine and grow sappy over the subject i mush through the moment and move on with the high quality of my excellent life. The next songs come on and it would not be so foreign to outsiders and brings me back to a more inhabited realm of listening pleasure inspiring a change in vocabulary of my free-writing and mood. weird. realizing that this latest song is unappreciated by the dwellers of my circle delves my state into the dark vortexing abyss of a dark sea on a black night. i glory in the visualization adn the words that flow from my fingertips relishing my self-proclaimed genius. a popular song comes on and my endless black-greeen swirl of soul-crushing weighted loneliness wipes away like a few drops of mist carried on the wind and i feel awkard out in the open almost ashamed of being seen in such a trendy open plaine surrounded by so much open sky, but enjoying the fresh weather and sunshine. still alone in the music but not feeling the weight of the present track distracts my train into the nearly empty cafeteria around me and the chill of the drafty window and the near-still blood flow resultant of sitting at a computer for the last 3 hours. I should study some more.