Ana

This is the last title in the series (which is why it makes even less sense than all the others, I had to just use it). If you still want to take a stab in figuring the theme, I've got a gift certificate for a pint of Baskin Robbins for whoever figures it out (and I don't mean a bunch of in-laws on the beach-- ba-dum ching!) Serious, there's a gift certificate on my floor right now I got for donating blood (and then riding my bike home, but they didn't approve of or even know about that) and the nearest Baskin Robbins is a good ways away.

I watched a commercial by Let California Ring (.org). Of course it's to promote same sex marriage, but it displays a heterosexual couple getting married, and I guess the idea was to show various obstacles getting in the bride's way as she tried to get to the ceremony. It wasn't very clear and the point was pretty vague. No one was stopping her from getting to her hubby. Heaven forbid you have to step over cracks in the cement as you walk across the street! That's a low blow, sorry. It's just really a strange commercial and the point isn't very well made. Actually, it's not made at all. Eventually, the bride gives up right there on the isle, frustrated by tiny little quirks in a wedding. Weird. If losing your veil to a vined arch is stopping you from getting married, you really shouldn't be getting married. We wouldn't want to pass on the genes that predispose such futilistic behaviors (survival of the fittest! Darwin did have a lot of things going for him). I don't see the commercial gaining the movement much ground. Whoever made it, really doesn't understand love (despite what they've convinced themselves of). *That one was a kidney-shot.

Wanna see another low blow? If two people want to PRETEND they're starting their own family, they can just get a couple dogs in place of kids and raise dogs for several decades. Social circles are built around them at the local parks here. Some friends walked a neighbor's dog one time and locals at the park accused them of stealing so-and-so's dog! They are dressed up for Halloween (today I saw a picture of an awesome dog-Yoda costume. I'd have a dog if he dressed like that everyday!). They love you and are affectionate, are easily trained, there's no bratty teenagers, and you're not obligated to spend your money spoiling grandchildren either. And if you don't like your dog, just give it back to the pound or sell it. No guilt! No commitment! If you do feel guilty, just wait 10 years until it dies of old age (or put it down when you can convince yourself that it's in enough pain it doesn't want to live anymore either). That's much better than dealing with kids at home for 20+ years, and then having to solve all their adult-related problems interrupting your retirement.

Dogs are great pets. If we have a decent yard, we might get one or two. But, unfortunately, to a lot of people (it seems like amazingly more people lately), they are long term replacements of raising kids. I've seen "families" go through more years of dog ownership than parenting, 3 times over. It's really sad that there's no continuation. It's like an insult to your parents to not raise children who will raise children who will perpetuate family traditions and characteristics. If your parents really were awful and you're afraid of repeating their mistakes, give the ultimate blow to your progenitors and have kids, but learn how to raise them RIGHT. (Hah! Take that, Dead-beat Dad and Absent Mom! I'm a GOOD parent!).

That's my twenty dollars and fifty-six cents for the day. Now onto the excitement:


Adventure Stories Headlines from San Francisco!!!! (email editor for details)

Cyclist hits dog on way to church!

Dental student with backpack, dress clothes paces two professional cyclists during informal race up hill! Doesn't break sweat! Scared cyclists quickly leave vicinity looking over shoulders for fear!

Half-crazed early-bird swims in cold waters of bay over weekend! Returned tonight! No wetsuits dampened in process! Uncontrollable shaking!!

Vampire forced to live under menacing gaze of sun for 3 days! Prays for more fog! Longest drought of new residence by 48 hours over previous droughts!

Personal records bested! Original school ride: 20 minutes door to door. Today: 14 minutes! Higher gears used non-stop!

Bachelor touts Whole Foods as best place to spend grocery budget for family of 3! Delicious deli delites inside! Ordinary Housewives are envious!

Initial D preferred entertainment for lonely evenings!

Californian nursing student prefers Utah for LDS Primary Children's Hospital! Desires to work there for life! Child Oncology reinforced as future emphasis!

Toddler takes up waterpainting! Occupied for hours! Dollhouses come second!